Follow the Leader, leader, leader...

Leadership

Boil the jug. Snuggle under the blankets and get out the Wheatie bag, cause its STORYTIME!!!

Every year over the weekend of Easter there is this big event called Easter Camp. For the last few years I have been going as a camper, but this year was my first time as a leader.

Even though I was stoked to be going, I went into it completely drained: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I had just come out of a wave of assignments and all that fun jazz (aka. Life in general…)

As a small group leader I had the honour of being grouped with a legit as group of girls. However on that first day, I’m not gonna lie, I totally had a little freak out. Each of these girls had come from different backgrounds, social groups and beliefs, and somehow a rather I needed to figure out  a way in which I could lead that would allow them to have the best time at camp.

Let me reiterate, I was SHATTERED, DRAINED AND STRESSED going into camp….

But, and this is where it gets super trippy…I remember spending the majority of the bus ride down, wondering and praying about how on earth I was going to last the next five days running on complete empty.

 Over the course of those 5 days something happened within each of those gorgeous girls. I got to see each of them for who they REALLY were. Not who they were amongst their friends. The stigmas created by society dropped and I realised the reality, that each of us are beautiful when we are our true selves. Often we hide it away, worried that no one will accept us for who we are. And that’s where it hit me.

These girls showed me what being a leader was REALLY about.

You see, leadership isn’t something fancy, it doesn’t mean you are more ‘enlightened’ or ‘elite’. To lead means to merely be yourself, so much so, that it gives others/those around you the permission to do the same. Be themselves.

A ‘good’ leader will lead out of their own strength; however an ‘excellent’ leader will lead out of His strength.

You see, it’s not about the title. It’s not about how many people follow you. It actually isn’t even about you, necessarily.

Sounds super cheesy, but to be perfectly honest I want to be a leader like Jesus (Christ, not the guy that used to date Madonna…I wonder what he’s up to these days…). He led out of a place of love. He saw the potential in others even when they couldn’t see it themselves. He challenged, but he also supported. Flip, the guy got down and washed the feet of his followers (pretty yuck, imagine where they would have been.)

Now, I don’t know about you, but that is the kind of leadership I aspire too. A life lived out of seeing others grow into their potential. It’s not about being the one that everyone exalts.

Society identifies leadership as the person who is exalted, or looked up to by others. Sure that may be a by-product of leadership, but I don’t think it should be the definition of it. Some of the greatest leaders are the ones that chug along, unrecognised by others. Those are the ones you want to follow.

To finish up, just a little thought: What if leadership isn’t exclusive to those that possess ‘leadership’ qualities, what if, in fact, each of us are ‘leaders’ in our own right. We each are in a position of influence.

We have our family, friends; and our choices do impact them. Whether you believe you have something to offer or not, you are significant. You may never see the bountiful fruit of what you invest into, but nonetheless, don’t be discouraged. Some of the greatest influencers never saw the fruit of their work, yet they choose to carry on steadfast, led by the drive of the dream.

Try not to forget how cool you are this week, okay?

Peace and blessings y’all!

Speak to me

If there is one thing I hate it’s writers block. It’s like a hurricane circulating inside a glass ball, thoughts running wild in your head and yet, somehow it is impossible to put them on the page.

For the past year I have been quietly chugging away at my first novel, and have become all too familiar with writer’s block. You so long to conceptualise what is going on in your head and yet words just won’t do. The only way I can describe writing would be like being pregnant; you carry this story, your baby, for so long. You feel it move within as it kicks around, yet no one can fully understand what is going on. There may be physical signs of it; dark hollowed eyes, coffee breath and the lack of make-up, yet no one really knows. Until the day it is released. Your work is published, launched out into the mercies of the world. Like a mother you do your best to protect your baby but nothing can hide it from the criticisms or the encouragements that you may receive. It is there were you find out what you are truly made of. That is where you begin you’re parenting, cultivating the potential it has until others can see and understand your baby like you do.

But it is not easy. Writing is harsh. It is brutal. Last December I printed off the first 137 pages to my book, but the victory was short-lived. What I had in my hands needed attention, so much so I had to wipe the slate clean and start again. It hurts, is painful, yet with it comes liberation. It is an art, a way in which we can conceptualise and process thoughts. It is like a dear friend who you tell you’re secrets too.

We are surrounded by it. The songs we sing, the movies we watch, the businesses we shop from; all coming from a sheet of blank paper. A masterpiece waiting to be written.

I have come to appreciate it; writing has the ability to persuade, to agitate and to provide comfort. It is an alluring companion that strikes when we least expect it. This, this post is a reflection of that, here I sit in the library (my escapism) and can’t help but be overwhelmed by the capacity in which words affect us. I have always loved reading, but saw little relevance in it, particularly in the busyness of life. However recently I have been challenged with the reality that if I long to grow more in knowledge and acceptance of others, then maybe I should pursue after the truths I long to acquire and maybe, just maybe, the answers I seek might just be behind one of these paperback books.

In order for this to happen: our ability to grow. It is based on our ability to seek. To sit in the silence. For it is in the silence in which clarity can be found.

Often we resent the silence, because our interpretation of knowledge has been perceived as the amount of words we say. Quantitative rather than qualitative.

But what if silence is a reflection of peace. You see when we reflect and ‘live’ in the past it grows bitterness and resentment, likewise if we ‘live’ in the future, always thinking about what decision we need to make in order to end up where we want to go, then we grow anxious and worried. However, when we live in the present recognising the value of each moment: ‘Capre Diem’, then true peace is found. So silence, rather than being a bad thing, may just be a by-product of peace.

 Silence, cease it, and make time for it, for it is within the silence we may just find the answers we look for.

Not a God to FIND praise, a God TO BE praised.

Not a God to FIND praise, a God TO BE praised.

I’m very narcissistic. I get very proud and arrogant. I love to receive praise and I even plead for praise from God.

It’s painful, because it is true and sometimes truth may taste bitter at first , but that is just the medicine part required before deeper healing can occur.  

This post is a bit different and I’m gonna give it to you pretty straight because in reality, we (I) tend to fluff things up,  make them sound pretty and nice, so be prepared. Here we go.

 

God has a purpose. A plan so big, so endearing. He is at work, in fact it is happening right now as we speak. The restoration of his kingdom. However….

Reality check numero uno:

·         It’s not actually ALL about us.

We ARE important, to a certain extent. Mercy and Grace, two words chucked around Christian circles a lot; words which encompass a small fraction of God’s character. But to be perfectly honest, in sermons and talks I find they always appear as superficial words. Words with little substance, just chucked in to paint a cool picture of God. Labels. However, what if those words contain something far more personal than what we first perceive.

Look at it like this:

·         A farmer one day decides to bring in an apprentice, someone who he’ll train up in hopes that eventually, he (the apprentice) can run the farm.

·         As the apprentice is being trained up he will often refer back to the farmer asking for his approval, double checking that what he is doing is right.

·         However, after 6-12 months on the job you’d imagine the apprentice would be pretty clued up on what to do (or at least have a general understanding of what to do).

·         However, wouldn’t it seem odd if, after 12 months of working this apprentice, continued to refer back to the farmer in the same manner he did when he was being trained up? I imagine it would really test the farmer’s patience, particularly when you consider the time taken to walk back and find the farmer. Time which could be spent working. In all honesty, I imagine the farmer’s probably thought a few times, “why don’t I just do the job myself?”

Why doesn’t he?

That my friend is mercy.

Despite the Lord having the capacity to do it (restore his kingdom on earth), he chooses us. His grace and mercy is a tangible reflection of his patience towards us. Even though we doubt and question EVERYTHING about God, he still chooses us. He still chooses to make time for us. Can you imagine how frustrating (if God was a human with limited human characteristics) that would be.

1.       This reflects exactly why God is God and we are not. WE are far too limited. So limited in our understanding of grace and mercy, that even when a God so abundantly merciful is standing right in front of us, we don’t even see it. (PS: I share this because it’s totally something God is revealing to me as well. Certainly don’t have this down pact yet, may never, nonetheless he is pulling me up on this too.)

In our western culture, it is difficult to not perceive ourselves as God. Our culture thrives off, it’s created from it; making us believe we are the most important thing out. So much so that our thinking towards death is “if we are gone what will happen in this world, ‘the world will forever be ruined.’” I reckon it’s chasing after those things, ourselves, which make us forgettable. Only the ones who chased after something beyond themselves are the ones remembered, yet even then, that in itself is insignificant.

What if….we were to live a life for Him. A life far from boring and mundane.

Want a life of remembrance; lived to its capacity?

1.       It starts with submission and surrender- realising that actually we ARE blessed. God could easily complete his plan right now if he wanted to, but he is PATIENT, teaching us and using us, mere humans, selfish beings, to reflect HIM.

2.       A radical life is understanding that there will be sacrifice and suffering. Realistically in every aspect of life these elements will pop up:

·         Sacrifice

·         Suffering

The question is whether we think God is worth making a sacrifice and suffering for. If not, then what is?

I don’t know about you, but I would much rather live each day radically, uncertain of what will happen in my day, but certain of who I live for, then live the stereotypical ‘Sunday attending church’ life.

Imagine if each of us recognised that we are a part of something significant, the picture of  ‘Christianity’ would look a little different. We ourselves aren’t the ones that define that significance, we just have the choice and opportunity to facilitate in that significance: seeing GOD (not us) be exalted. In whatever form that may be.

Just some food for thought.

Why am I so fat?!?

“Why am I so fat?!?”

“It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”                                                                                                - Matthew 15:11

Ouch. That’s a bit harsh. Actually on second thought…there is a bit of truth to that. I mean think about it, we are fed thousands of different messages, ideologies and opinions every day, but somehow our brain filters through it all and withholds a certain, selective amount of it.

Which begs to differ, are we filtering out the right stuff? I mean how do we choose what to retain and what not too? Is it based on feeling or emotion, or is it something else? (whoa a lot of pondering already and I’m not even into the second page yet… haha)

Recently these have been a few things that have been at the forefront of my thinking, “Why am I thinking like this?”, “Why do I believe everything my mind tells me?” “Whoever said I couldn’t be an international cyclist (especially because of a gap in the industry, with the whole Lance Armstrong ordeal.) Okay, maybe not an international cyclist, but do you get what I mean, who was that told us we weren’t good enough.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say maybe it has something to do with what we fill ourselves with, and is not based solely on our circumstances (past or present). I’ll use this blog as the prime example of what I mean.

Okay, so as many of you may know this blog got a bit of recognition as a relationship blog (probably because that’s what I said it was to everyone, and was,) which was awesome, because:

1)      I love talking about relationships and giving advice.

2)      It meant I could research more into the dynamics and differences between male and female.

3)      I could talk to people about the most taboo subjects, which often caused a bit of awkwardness, in an easy conversational way.

Sweet. Well kind of…

It was all good for the first bit, but after a while ‘relationships’ started to become the thing at the forefront of my thinking (not so sweet.) I would read up about it, watch videos, read other blogs, and like a sponge I would absorb it all; completely unaware of the subliminal affect it was having on my own life and friendships/relationships.

Look at it like this: “Our beliefs define our thoughts; thoughts are reflected in our actions; actions become habits, which become our characteristics, to form our identity.” By filling myself with excessive amounts of information about ‘relationships’ it caused my beliefs to change from, “Hey, I’m all good with being single,” to “Hey I now understand how the male mind works so it means I can manipulate it to get exactly what I want” (cruel, but very true). And to be quite frank, I hated it. I hated the person I was becoming, but I didn’t know what to do about it. It wasn’t until a friend kindly pulled me up and brought it to my attention, did I realise what was happening.

Another way to look at it is like eating food; the things we listen to, watch and learn, feed us (haha this is starting to sound like some weird new agey thing… but bear with me.) They feed our thoughts and shape the way we perceive things, which is why what I ‘feed’ myself is so important because it will become a by-product in my life.

 If I am against the exploitation of women in the sex industry, then why the hell am I listening to hip hop artists who use them and then write songs that desensitise and normalise the reality. If I want better self-worth, then why do I continue to read trashy magazines that leave me feeling worse about myself? Why?

It’s because I have a need. We have needs. But it’s not the need that’s the problem; it’s how we choose to fulfil that need, which once again, comes back to what we fill ourselves with. I am guilty as charged when it comes to this. I complain about becoming a judging, bitter person and yet I continue to watch shows and listen to music that sings about exactly that: bitterness, anger and judgement. All concealed within the façade of a catchy tune and hot actors (that’s why it’s so hard to stop listening and watching :O).

So can I challenge us (I’m included in this one) with something. What kind of person do we want to be? If we were to look back at the end of our lives, who would we be remembered as?

We can be that person and it starts by changing what we allow ourselves to be surrounded by. It’s not simple or easy, but comes from discipline, which requires more strength than remaining in the current situation and saying “it’s okay this won’t affect me.”

(By the way, it doesn’t mean that we never listen/watch stuff that we deem “trash”, it just means we are more weary/cautious of how much we consume.)

“It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”                                                                                                - Matthew 15:11

 Peace and blessings y’all, peace and blessings! (Haha love that chick!)

"I'm over our long term relationship. No judgement."

Spring cleaning. It has its pits and peaks.

 Pit: Apparently it only comes around in spring, which sucks cause if I left my room for a whole year without a good spring clean, I think you could comfortably call me a hoarder.

Peak: Every time you do you uncover some hidden gems; cell phone charger, hair ties, and your teddy bear you thought had gone off on some overseas adventure…

So, I guess you could say spring cleaning does have some perks.

The other day I was doing a bit of a good old clean up, and came across my folder I put all my written stories into. As you’ve probably (hopefully) discovered… I like to write, and have for a wee while. Actually, fun fact, when I was 10 I started to write a book I got about 30 pages into it, before I decided I just didn’t have the time to continue (don’t ask me why I didn’t have time, I was 10. I had all the time in the world!).

Anyway in amongst the masses of paper, I uncovered one of the poems I wrote a little while back (here’s a little snippet):

 

“You see I looked down on those I thought I was above,

And in my head,

I started to justify it as love.

 

With my distorted view,

I started to think that God looked down on us too,

Only able to come and love a few.

 

Only those like me,

Who knew the verses,

Who knew the bible,

And in my head I was the perfect disciple.

 

It was there I learnt I was an actor,

I’d put my hands up at church,

Sing the right notes,

Like that was the only factor.

 

But my quest to be perfect,

To meet the perfection,

 It only led my mind

Into a sickly infection.

 

Then I’d turn to God and point my finger,

Why’d you make me fat?

Why couldn’t I be smaller?

Because only then,

Could I truly be your daughter.

 

I’d pray and pray,

Oh God, send me a boyfriend,

Oh God, send me an angel,

Because I alone am unable.

 

I knew they wouldn’t help,

I knew it to well,

But my deepest confessions,

To Him I couldn’t tell.”

 

As you have probably gathered, my own perceived judgement of others and myself was something I was really challenged with when I wrote this poem.  But unlike the poem changing it wasn’t as easy as spray and wipe, where BAM and the dirt is gone.

You see it’s easy to judge. It’s easy to look down on others, just because they’re different. I’ll be honest, throughout high school I did just that, look down on others because I thought I was maybe ‘better’ then them. I didn’t do drugs, drink or swear, and those I justified were the things that defined me as ‘better.’

However, looking back it saddens me because I allowed my own judgements and perceptions to be so important, that it left little room to actually see people for who they were. Awesome. Unique. Rich in potential.

You see it’s easy for us to look at someone and stamp a label on. Limit them, or define them. Whether it’s based on actions or their past, I’ve come to learn that limiting others is toxic.

 

Like the poem said:

“With my distorted view,

I started to think that God looked down on us too,

Only able to come and love a few.

 

Only those like me,

Who knew the verses,

Who knew the bible,

And in my head I was the perfect disciple.”

 

As horrid as it sounds, I allowed myself to play the role of God, to be the one who filtered who was good enough. Because of this my perception of church became the place where all the ‘perfect people’ met. It seemed like everyone had it altogether. I mean they smiled and seemed happy. Ironically this contradicted how I actually felt, but I quickly found myself slipping into an ‘act,’ trying to play the ‘perfect little Christian girl’ cause that would mean my real hurts wouldn’t be discovered. It comes as little surprise that because of this, I grew bitter towards the idea of ‘church’ as I lodged my thoughts deeper away.

The irony of it though, was the further I pulled away, the more distant I felt from God and alone as a whole. The truth is God loves real. The performance. The façade. Totally irrelevant, and will not change how much he love us. He sees our hearts, he sees the hurt, and longs to journey with us. Haha he’s cool like that, when we think no one could ever cope with us, he says ‘try me’.

Since high school I’ve come to the conclusion, that I want to be more like Jesus (not because of doctrine, or ‘perfect Christian role model’), but because he was cool. He didn’t allow anything (race, religion, sexual orientation) to define how much he could love or care for someone. That’s the kind of person I want to be, one who loves instead of judges.

However unlike spring cleaning, which comes around once a year, choosing to love instead of judge is a daily decision, but by lying down my pre-conceived ideas and allowing love to be my driving force, it brings a lot peace into life.

Take care cool kids, y’all are awesome.

Wowzas Moses! Shawty, you a ten.

 

Shawty, you a ten

 

1)      Tall

2)      Dark

3)      Handsome

Lists. They work a charm when we’re planning what we need for the grocery shopping, or maybe organising what to buy for school or uni. But really?!? Lists when it comes to the person you want to date? Isn’t it a bit shallow?

 

After talking to some close friends of mine, my girl Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber (we go way back. Well…not really... On that note though, did you hear they are back together again, pretty crazy huh!?) Okay, maybe I didn’t ask Selena and Justin for their perspective on lists, but I did ask a few pretty good looking and awesome people, what though surrounding this age old topic.

It was actually quite interesting, because when we finally did, (yes, I babble a lot so that meant it took ages to actually get to the topic) and talk about lists*, there seemed to be two dominant perspectives.

1)      Yes. Lists are good. It gives you a good idea of what you look for in a future relationshipee and allows you to filter down the things that you like, and what traits in a person you think would complement yours.

AND THEN IRONCIALLY:

2)       No. Lists are bad. It makes you more close minded/picky/ too selective. Besides, the reality is that, not EVERYTHING that is on your list will be fulfilled in one person. If it did then, “Why hello there Messiah, how are you doing?”

So in a nutshell there’s two ways you really can look at it. Yes, or no.

 
BUT….

(there’s always a butt……to every joke. Okay, yes that was a poor one, it’s getting late and my humour filled side of the brain is fried…deep in batter….okay sorry, I’m gonna just shut up now before this turns really ugly.)

What was interesting though, was when I asked people who didn’t have a physical, written-down list, if they had a vague idea of what they looked for in someone, they simply replied ‘Yes.’

 

Which begs the age, old question:

Is a list only considered a list if it’s written down?

Yeah, I reckon so, I mean writing it down just makes it more official. It’s like a contract (well sort of, in a weird way) in that a verbal contract isn’t valid. You can’t take someone to court JUST based on their good word of mouth, you need a binding agreement. (Not quite sure were this analogy is going in conjunction with lists,) but nonetheless, I guess having a list just gives us a clearer format of explaining all the crazy things our brain keeps trying to tell us.

 

You’re probably getting to this point and wondering, ‘Hey Aspen, number 1, shut up.’ Yes that is valid, I do have a tendency to waffle on, and ‘number 2, if you think you’re so cool, what do YOU think about lists.’

Well, lists ARE interesting and YES, I do have a list. But wait before you give up all hope, hear me out.

I created a ‘list’ not as a checklist or a set of criteria which a guy will have to meet before he even goes out on a date with me (believe it or not some people are like that and try to see how a ‘potential’ person matches up with their list, before even making a move.) I did it rather, so that in the future, when/if/maybe I get married, I can look back and see what aspects I looked for in my ‘ideal’ guy, and how reality (if it did) matched up with what I wrote in my younger more desperate, single years.

 
In amongst it all, there are things, that yes I give you permission, can be super picky about. For some people its things like:

·         Needs to know how to cook

·         For others, its needs to have good manners

·         And for others, it can be as simple as needs to know how to ski (or at least willing to learn how to ski...or at least understand that every so often, even if they hate skiing, realising that we just need to escape and go up to the mountain….why don’t they just get it….) Um okay, moving on from that emotional mumbo jumbo.

You have permission to be picky about certain things. Think about the things that make you, you. What thing, if it was taken away from you, would make you feel like a small part of your heart had been ripped out? Now this is going to sound a bit mean, but those things aren’t worth jeopardising because of someone. If anything the person you are with, should recognise what you enjoy doing, and even if they don’t feel as passionate as you, still support and encourage you in it.

 

To say the least, I reckon lists ARE cool and can be very beneficial in outlining what attributes and qualities you think would complement your own. However, if it becomes the sole thing you refer to when selecting your ‘ideal date,’ I think that’s when lists can become a bit too INTENSE, because it’s in that process which we no longer look at the awesome person standing right in front of us, but compare them to a set of guidelines we pre-conceived, based on our own opinion. Besides, who’s to say that that awesome person standing in front of you isn’t the person that would bring you the greatest amount of joy in life. You never really know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*(in reference to a written down on paper list, or one tucked away hidden in a journal, or a list that’s locked away in a time capsule, only to be opened in 30 years’ time)

"I love being Single," said no one....ever.

“I love being Single,” said no one….ever.

 

“I sooooooo want a boyfriend! Someone who I can snuggle up to, and go on cute dates with, and who I can win against in an arm wrestle (because they let me), it would just be so awesome.”

 Now I imagine if you’re anything like me…human? Then there’s a high chance at some point in your life, you’ve been through it, let’s just name it for what it is; the desperate, single moments. Those beautiful moments when you look around and it seems everyone else is in a relationship, and it looks so cute; like they’re off in some fluffy land in the clouds, and then you come back to reality and realise you’re still here. Stuck on the ground, in the rain. Drenched. And alone.

 “Wow thanks,” I imagine you’re saying right now to your pet gecko, “that makes me feel so good about myself.”

But wait, don’t leave yet, I promise there is a silver lining in all this. Trust me.

 

You see, over summer one of my beautiful, a VERY attractive AND still on the market (ultimate wing woman 101), friend and I spontaneously came up with this game called “I’m happy I’m single because… (Insert the cool things you can do if you’re single here):

eg:

 I’m happy I’m single because it means I can go to the cinemas and throw popcorn at couples, who get too PDA-ish and it’s not immature because I’m not trying to impress anyone.

Or

I’m happy I’m single because it means I can go out to dinner half an hour earlier, because I won’t be helping my fashionless boyfriend find SOMETHING else to wear.

And on it goes….

But what was cool about the game was realising that being single ACTUALLY has it perks! Yes it is harder when all your friends are in a relationship or people around you have their little romantic ‘things,’ but I’m coming to learn that realistically, as fun as those things may appear and are, they require a lot of work, time and effort.

Which is why I made a list (love lists), about just some of the perks of Singledom:

1.      Singledom is honestly awesome. It’s a cool period of time where you get to work on you. You get to piece together what you like and what you don’t like. What your passions are. What you want to be when you’re older, and all those important factors.

2.      It is the perfect time to establish and grow into your identity, and being honest, a great time to learn to love yourself. Yes, you are good at what you enjoy doing. Yes, you are talented at that thing. Don’t second guess yourself.

3.      This is a biggie. There is no expectation. You don’t have the pressure to be the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend AND top sports team AND 100% grades AND, while we’re at it, superwoman/man.

4.      Most importantly it is such a critical time to shape who you are as a person.

 I’m gonna be honest, for a long time all through my early teen years I hated being single. All my friends were getting boyfriends and having their first kisses and walking around school together, and it sucked. Legit, it sucked. I felt so out of the loop. But as I got older, something slowly began to change. Although I had never been in relationship, I had seen my friends go through the highs and lows and the break ups, and I saw what an effect these guys had on my friends.

Most of these girls, all strong and beautiful women came out feeling lost and confused, questioning their value. Once again, I reiterate, these girls are stunning! The nicest, prettiest girls, but coming out of the relationship, most of them began to doubt themselves, their beauty and their worth.

 

Looking back now, I am so grateful that I HADN’T (yep, I said it, hard to believe I know) been in a relationship. Sure I would have learnt some really cool things, but I feel more content with myself now, and who I am as a person (I realise this is probably sounding very egotistic at the moment). I know what I like (skiing, writing, reading; if you were curious) and am still learning about the things I’m good at. That’s not to say there aren’t times now, where I wish I had a boyfriend to snuggle up to, of course I would love that, but I am learning that there is still so much I can learn in the place I am right now.

Let’s look at it like this:

If a relationship/business/church/event/whatever is going to function into its fullness, it NEEDS a solid foundation.

I.e.: The motives, goals and values of a company will determine the success of the company.

·         Clear and concise goals and objectives are the factors that change a ‘good’ organisation to a ‘successful’ organisation (learnt that in my PR lecture the other day.)

The same is to be said about a relationship. A relationship isn’t something that starts when you begin/meet someone. It actually starts now, with the most important person: YOU. And it is crucial to remember, that in a dating/engaged relationship you are your own person.

 

It is two INDIVIDUALS coming together, not two HALVES to make a whole, in a relationship.

 

The more I come to grips with this, the more I realise, that out of honour and respect for the guys I will date in future relationships, I need this time of Singledom, to sort myself out enough so I could come into a place where I could cope with my own baggage (insecurities, problems, trials) AND someone else’s.

SO maybe that’s where I leave you today, where are you in your relationship with the most important person in your life: YOU.

·         Are you chasing after the things (sports, academics, music, people etc.) because you love them, or because you feel it is out of obligation?

Lastly, you are actually awesome! I mean that. You are unique, and there is trueness and a beauty concealed within each of you. A little secret: you will like the ‘real’ you, AND so will others, just give them a chance to see it.

 

 

PS: if you’re in a relationship and reading this, kudos to you that’s awesome!!!  I’m sorry if I’ve made you long to be single again…actually, no I’m not. We hear all about how good you’re relationships are and you’re the reason we get jealous, so…yeah. Haha.

No hard feelings right?

Oh Honey boo boo

Child-like faith. Mark 10:13-16 talks about this idea of having a 'child-like faith' when it comes to our relationship to God, but to be quite frank what is this kind of faith??

Often I thought it referred to maintain a 'child-like' mentality in which conversations with God consisted of 'baby talk' eg: turn to him for provision, wants, needs, desires etc. This is true and should totally be done as well, but when I began to think about it, it doesn't leave a lot of room for growth.

 

As we grow up our child-like faith also grows.

Okay, I'll try and make this a bit more clear cause it probably doesn't make a lot of sense at the moment.

Thought: What if what Jesus was talking about in regards to faith, wasn't about having an immature, needy faith, but child-like in sense that when we see God and see his will done we are bewildered and in genuine awe.

              Eg: a child has such an innocence in which everything in the world around them is new and  

                     exciting. They don't take for granted the small things like 'Choo choo trains' or 'trees.'

                     Even the most simplest of things are incredible.

SO if we look at it like that, maybe what 'child-like' faith is, is seeing the small everyday things God has done and being amazed and appreciative of it. What if we got excited about the small things rather than focus on the massive 'experience' or miracle we expect God to bring along?

In a nutshell, child-like faith is being appreciative for the small things which may seem mundane, and well ordinary. However it is in those things where more of God's massive character is revealed.

Try not to measure God simply on how big the 'experience' is, for even those 'experiences' limit who God truly is, and is only reveals an ever so small portion of who he is.