Speak to me

If there is one thing I hate it’s writers block. It’s like a hurricane circulating inside a glass ball, thoughts running wild in your head and yet, somehow it is impossible to put them on the page.

For the past year I have been quietly chugging away at my first novel, and have become all too familiar with writer’s block. You so long to conceptualise what is going on in your head and yet words just won’t do. The only way I can describe writing would be like being pregnant; you carry this story, your baby, for so long. You feel it move within as it kicks around, yet no one can fully understand what is going on. There may be physical signs of it; dark hollowed eyes, coffee breath and the lack of make-up, yet no one really knows. Until the day it is released. Your work is published, launched out into the mercies of the world. Like a mother you do your best to protect your baby but nothing can hide it from the criticisms or the encouragements that you may receive. It is there were you find out what you are truly made of. That is where you begin you’re parenting, cultivating the potential it has until others can see and understand your baby like you do.

But it is not easy. Writing is harsh. It is brutal. Last December I printed off the first 137 pages to my book, but the victory was short-lived. What I had in my hands needed attention, so much so I had to wipe the slate clean and start again. It hurts, is painful, yet with it comes liberation. It is an art, a way in which we can conceptualise and process thoughts. It is like a dear friend who you tell you’re secrets too.

We are surrounded by it. The songs we sing, the movies we watch, the businesses we shop from; all coming from a sheet of blank paper. A masterpiece waiting to be written.

I have come to appreciate it; writing has the ability to persuade, to agitate and to provide comfort. It is an alluring companion that strikes when we least expect it. This, this post is a reflection of that, here I sit in the library (my escapism) and can’t help but be overwhelmed by the capacity in which words affect us. I have always loved reading, but saw little relevance in it, particularly in the busyness of life. However recently I have been challenged with the reality that if I long to grow more in knowledge and acceptance of others, then maybe I should pursue after the truths I long to acquire and maybe, just maybe, the answers I seek might just be behind one of these paperback books.

In order for this to happen: our ability to grow. It is based on our ability to seek. To sit in the silence. For it is in the silence in which clarity can be found.

Often we resent the silence, because our interpretation of knowledge has been perceived as the amount of words we say. Quantitative rather than qualitative.

But what if silence is a reflection of peace. You see when we reflect and ‘live’ in the past it grows bitterness and resentment, likewise if we ‘live’ in the future, always thinking about what decision we need to make in order to end up where we want to go, then we grow anxious and worried. However, when we live in the present recognising the value of each moment: ‘Capre Diem’, then true peace is found. So silence, rather than being a bad thing, may just be a by-product of peace.

 Silence, cease it, and make time for it, for it is within the silence we may just find the answers we look for.

So there was this guy...

This is kind of a different blog post, instead of being a humorous and light hearted topic.

 

(If you've decided to continue reading, good on you you obviously enjoy reading blogs or feel sorry for me.)

 

I'll just start, I guess.

Dear person reading this who I may not know or may never meet, (but hi to you anyway,)

I am writing this letter to  you. Right now, I don't know where you are in life, what struggles you face or what merry things have flooded into your world. Maybe you have had a new cousin, daugther, baby, or maybe you just found out you've won the lotto (if you have feel free to donate a worthy charity aka. myuniversityfees.com*).

I say these next things out of love. As I said earlier, I don't know where you are in life, but regardless I want you to know that just the thought of knowing you have to endure hard times, breaks my heart. I wish I could take all the pain and hurt away. Yet despite that, I want to acknowledge to you and say that I am so proud of you for getting through the tough times. You are a real trooper.

May I boldly say, and know, that you have an absolute purpose and reason for being where you are. It may be hard, hell it may be so hard you doubt whether you can actually get through it. But I want to remind you, that you are unique, their is NO ONE else on this earth like you. We tend to compare ourselves to people and say things like "that persons better than me at....or that person looks just like me, but I'm not as..." but the reality is that, that comparison can be such a toxic wasteland. It tries to make you think you aren't good enough, you could never be good enough. But you are good enough.

Lets step back for a sec...okay. Now, what sort of things do you enjoy doing? What things would you say you were good at, regardless of what others have said or told you, why do you do those things?
The reality is you are so uniquely designed for a purpose. Martin Luther King wasn't a Mother Theresa, he probably wouldn't have been half as good as Mother Theresa because he was good at public speaking, Mother Theresa on the other hand had a servants heart. Although they were both inspirational people they were needed we they were placed. Their personalities fitted the roles, and they flourished. So I guess were I trying to get at, is that you too, have a purpose, you are needed. I don't know to what scale (community, world, country, city or maybe even one person) but regardless you are needed and valued. It is only when we look for success in others success's that we feel disappointed and unworthy.

Now I don't want you to read these words and feel I am speaking to someone else, these words are meant for you. This is not some 'airy-fairy inspirational letter' I copy and pasted from somewhere on the web (even though that would have a been a whole lot easier). Every word I have said isn't coming from some superficial 'feel good' place either. I haven't written this for your approval or for acknowledgement. This has purely been written to give you a bit of hope and remind you how valued you are. Why do we wait until we pass away before nice things can be said about us? And so that is what this is. Its an acknowledgement and a thank you for being you.

Finally the last thing I wanna say:

If you feel like you're at the end of it, metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and you feel like you can't fight for yourself. Try fighting for someone else.

Much love,
A friend.

(*not actual website, from what I know...yeah.)