Monkey Bars to Mountains

Monkey Bars to Mountains

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Fbfo33mXs

 

I don’t know about you, but I really like this clip.

I think what I like the most about it, is that it shows us the main character, Jim Hawkins, feeling a bit low…and glum. He’s transparent and vulnerable.

To be quite honest, it’s actually quite refreshing.

We all too often see others when they are relishing in their triumph (the ‘good times’), when life is going smoothly, but very rarely do we see them in their struggles; and yet, here’s Jim, a young ambitious fella who many people would look at and think “wow that guy is awesome! He sure is going places.” As we see though, even HE struggles with self-doubt.

I guess what I’m trying to get at, is that it is very easy for us to compare ourselves with the success of others that we forget about the reality. We can look at them, and almost ‘exalt’ them into this place of ‘perfection’ or the ‘ideal person’. That’s not to say having role models or someone that inspires you is a bad thing, but it’s just being conscious that we don’t place others on that blessed ‘pedestal of perfection’ where we suddenly begin to find our identity in them. (Trippy thought…finding our identity in SOMEONE ELSE, but it can happen. I can vouch for it.)

Exalt others based on our perceptions of them, can actually be pretty gnarly, as it devalues both our own worth, and theirs.

AKA. (what happens)

                           Us                                                                          

• We feel worthless and inadequate  compared to them
• Lowers our self-esteem
• Which makes us feel pretty unhappy                  

                                                                   

Others/person comparing too

• Comparison places expectation on them; an expectation that is unrealistic and unattainable
• Increased sense of pressure and stress
• Feeling inadequate because they don’t meet that ‘perfect’ perception

 

 

Not exactly a ‘win-win’ situation, right?

So with that said, here’s where I’ll leave you.

When we compare ourselves to others, we are basing it off the good things going on in that person’s life; often neglecting that they too, go through different struggles and hard times as well.

Just because you aren’t seeing the things you want to be seeing right now in your life, doesn’t mean you’re a failure or less important than others.

In fact, maybe we can learn something in all of this.

Rather than growing resentful towards those who are going through ‘good times’ be encouraged, because it’s like a friendly reminder that we are important, because we are just as valued and as precious as that person… our ‘good’ season is just needing a bit more time to brew.

Life-long Marathon

Life-long marathon

 Sometimes it takes an adventure, within the journey, to remind us of our initial excitement.

In my last year of school I was a Performing Arts Prefect for the coolest (and winning) house, Batten. At the start of the year, before school went back, our group of about 30 or so prefects went away for a weekend up north with the Deans of the school. It was an awesome opportunity to grow closer as a team, overcome challenges and have those good old late night sess’s of ‘Never have I ever’ (no better way to really bond then finding out about…oh sorry can’t say, besides what happens at camp stays at camp. I guess you’ll just never know…)

Anyway, one thing which really stuck out to me was one of the team building challenges we had to do. A 16km run, where you only finished once your whole team was across the finish line.

Now you may be wondering, why did that stand out so much for you Aspen? Well, not just because Batten (our house) won with a record time of 2 hrs and 5 seconds, but there was a variety of things:

1)      Majority of my teammates were/are excellent athletics. Two were part of surf club and the other, part of the first 15 rugby team. I on the other hand this chubby white chick, who wasn’t much of a fitness guru, having given up all social sports at the ripe old age of 12.

2)      I didn’t want to let the team down by dropping out. Well either that, or I just had too much pride to do so.

3)      I secretly had been running every day for the past year and wanted to see if I could stand the endurance, having only clocked in a regular distance of 10-12kms.

 

Okay I lied about the not having done sports in years, but the only sport I had been doing was running and skiing, two fairly independent sports.

Now I’ll be perfectly honest, there were certainly times in amongst that run when I just wanted to stop and give up. (Round about the 12km mark, it hits you like a freight train). Despite that, I do remember the occasional time when I would just get this little boost of hope. A bit closer Aspen. You can do this. Whoop lets go team.

I needed those brief moments of motivation, to get me to the finish line 16kms away.

 

You see, it’s motivation that will get you started, but it’s discipline that will see you to the end.

 

Unfortunately it has taken some time for that pill of truth to finally get into my system. The reality is, is that if we want to see change, whether it’s in our own lives or in our support of others, we need to hold true to the encouragements that come in the times of motivation and support.

Also important to note, if I had allowed self-talk like “Aspen you fat lumpa laad, you’ll never do this just quit now,” to be my motivator then I would have dropped out in the first 200…metres, not miles.

Essentially it is being conscious of what we allow to motivate us, to become our driving force.

·         Is it something that is lifting you up or pulling you down?

·         Does it motivate you do the best and you feel encouraged?

·         Or is it devaluing your worth and minimising your significance?

Whatever you allow to become your motivator, prepare for it to become your fuel for the journey. Therefore choose wisely and be discerning about what you allow to speak truth into your life, and motivate you.

Look beyond what you see

 

Standing on the side of the street,

This girl,

Lost in a world of lies and deceit,

Hanging around for the man who will come,

And for one moment,

Make her forget she is alone.


He takes her in his arms,

Giving her false security,

Neglecting the fact that she is twelve,

And he is thirty.


Yet what does it matter,

Who really cares,

As long as he pays,

He can lust over her with his creepy stares.

She’s only twelve, twelve years old,

Imagine, if it was different,

And not a random,

but your sister being sold.

Maybe you don’t know her,

Standing late at night,

Whistling down strangers,

As she conceals her internal fright.

 Maybe you know her sister,

The girl on the screen,

The one posing naked,

Seen by multitudes of misters.

 Yeah you jerk off to her,

But what does it matter,

She wanted to do it,

It’s her job, she’s an actor.

 

Why? Why is it such a big bad issue?

Well, while you dream of her,

Imaging her all over you,

The reality is she’s slumped in the corner,

Weeping as the director barks yet another order.

Do this, do that,

his voice carries round,

if she doesn’t comply,

it’ll mean another blow to the ground.

 

Have you wondered why she’s covered up in so much makeup,

Its not to look good for you,

But from the abuse she suffered,

That part,

that part must stay covered.

 That smile,

That pose,

All a mask,

To hide the fact,

Inside she is broken apart.

 

Here’s my question,

My question to you,

What if you were too look beyond,

deep into her heart,

somewhere further than the superficial façade.

What would you find, the sexy girl in the picture,

Or a fragmented person,

or something of that mixture.

 Now, take another step back,

imagine she was your daughter,

Would you still lust over her,

Would you still be all for her.

 No didn’t think so,

Oh what’s that your say?

That’s disgusting, that’s really gross,

Oh I agree,

but I’m not the one growing this sickening industry.

 Did you ever wonder, maybe, where all the girl’s came from?

Was it a certain country,

Or school,

Because I would love to find one.

A girl that would be so willingly do such crazy things,

That I didn’t have to tie down,

that I didn’t have to buy her a ring.

 

Well, my dear, if you thought the daughter thing was bad,

You haven’t heard anything yet.

Some go through traffickers,

who sell them to the one with the highest bet,

others are stolen from home,

often eastern Europe and taken to Rome.

Where they don’t know the language,

Don’t know the people,

Similar to a newbie,

Sitting in the pew below the steeple.

But that’s lucky.

What happens to them if they get pregnant?

If they have a baby?

They send the child off to a farm for training.

Instead of plants and crops,

Perverted men lay with them.

Defiling their innocence,

Teaching them the life of corruption,

Know do you finally understand my burstof furious eruption.

I can’t stand back and watch this happen,

Close off my ears, close off my eyes

and let the darkness shout out these lies.

 

But I can’t do it alone,

That I know as true,

And after hearing such things,

 it is difficult to know what to do.

But I know there is hope,

There is a One,

One who can seep into the deepest cracks,

 The darkest places

And bring out the beauty once again onto their faces.

 

To see the video blog that explains this poem, check out: https://www.facebook.com/thatrelationshipcolumn

Quarter life crisis

Quarter life crisis

 20. Twenty. Twwwwwwwennnnnty.

Nope… still can’t manage to wrap my head around it. Yeah so I have like 6 more months until I ACTUALLY turn 20, but even the thought of that sends a little rush of anxiety through my old, aging body.

Its like a quarter life crisis; the marker between youthful days and those of great maturity and intellect (or something like that).

You see when you’re in your 20’s if you do something like write a book, climb Everest, or finally learn to tie your shoelaces, they aren’t that big a deal. Their adult things and because you’re now an adult, they should just be simple…ish.

Maybe I’m just overanalysing the whole thing, but there is so much I want to do before I leave my teenage days: leave something of significance, other than crazy mood swings and week-long crushes.

Things like:

1.       Finally finish the first draft of my book!

2.       Get an internship

3.       Fight against human trafficking

4.       Become the president’s PA

5.       Who is secretly a CIA agent, sent to protect him/her

6.       Buy a bunch of cute rabbits then let them loose aka. Watership down

7.       World peace

8.       Stop world hunger

9.       Eradicate poverty

10.   Okay, yes, the last 6 were a bit exaggerated….but do you get what I mean?

 

Dwelling on this unfortunate reality (old age and achy joints, coming in only 6 months), I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like if I started the things I wanted to pursue earlier.

          What if I had continued working away at the Everest book back in the day?

         What if I had continued doing Drama?

 I don’t think it’s a regret at the situation as such, but more so on what I allowed myself to believe.

Quite frankly, I sat back and allowed for excuses surrounding my age to define what I could and couldn’t do: “I can’t do anything because I’m too young’ or that ‘I don’t have a platform in the REAL world to make a difference’. Bullocks! (I say that to my younger silly self that believed that, not you.)

Youth is a gift, it’s awesome! It’s one of the few times in life where a smidge of hard work goes a long way; it’s a place where you have supporters all around you: teachers, families, small group leaders, and friends.

So take it from a (nearly) old and ancient; seize the day of youthfulness and delight in all it brings.

Peace and blessings y’all.