“Why am I so fat?!?”
“It’s not what goes into your mouth
that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” -
Matthew 15:11
Ouch. That’s
a bit harsh. Actually on second thought…there is a bit of truth to that. I mean
think about it, we are fed thousands of different messages, ideologies and
opinions every day, but somehow our brain filters through it all and withholds
a certain, selective amount of it.
Which begs
to differ, are we filtering out the right stuff? I mean how do we choose what
to retain and what not too? Is it based on feeling or emotion, or is it
something else? (whoa a lot of pondering already and I’m not even into the
second page yet… haha)
Recently
these have been a few things that have been at the forefront of my thinking, “Why
am I thinking like this?”, “Why do I believe everything my mind tells me?” “Whoever
said I couldn’t be an international cyclist (especially because of a gap in the
industry, with the whole Lance Armstrong ordeal.) Okay, maybe not an
international cyclist, but do you get what I mean, who was that told us we
weren’t good enough.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say
maybe it has something to do with what we fill ourselves with, and is not based
solely on our circumstances (past or present). I’ll use this blog as the prime example of what I mean.
Okay, so as
many of you may know this blog got a bit of recognition as a relationship blog (probably
because that’s what I said it was to everyone, and was,) which was awesome,
because:
1) I love talking about relationships
and giving advice.
2) It meant I could research more into
the dynamics and differences between male and female.
3) I could talk to people about the most
taboo subjects, which often caused a bit of awkwardness, in an easy
conversational way.
Sweet. Well
kind of…
It was all
good for the first bit, but after a while ‘relationships’ started to become the
thing at the forefront of my thinking (not so sweet.) I would read up about it,
watch videos, read other blogs, and like a sponge I would absorb it all;
completely unaware of the subliminal affect it was having on my own life and
friendships/relationships.
Look at it
like this: “Our beliefs define our thoughts; thoughts are reflected in our
actions; actions become habits, which become our characteristics, to form our
identity.” By filling myself with excessive amounts of information about ‘relationships’
it caused my beliefs to change from, “Hey, I’m all good with being single,” to “Hey
I now understand how the male mind works so it means I can manipulate it to get
exactly what I want” (cruel, but very true). And to be quite frank, I hated it.
I hated the person I was becoming, but I didn’t know what to do about it. It
wasn’t until a friend kindly pulled me up and brought it to my attention, did I
realise what was happening.
Another way
to look at it is like eating food; the things we listen to, watch and learn,
feed us (haha this is starting to sound like some weird new agey thing… but bear
with me.) They feed our thoughts and shape the way we perceive things, which is
why what I ‘feed’ myself is so important because it will become a by-product in
my life.
If I am against the exploitation of women in
the sex industry, then why the hell am I listening to hip hop artists who use them
and then write songs that desensitise and normalise the reality. If I want
better self-worth, then why do I continue to read trashy magazines that leave
me feeling worse about myself? Why?
It’s because
I have a need. We have needs. But it’s not the need that’s the problem; it’s
how we choose to fulfil that need, which once again, comes back to what we fill
ourselves with. I am guilty as charged when it comes to this. I complain about
becoming a judging, bitter person and yet I continue to watch shows and listen
to music that sings about exactly that: bitterness, anger and judgement. All concealed
within the façade of a catchy tune and hot actors (that’s why it’s so hard to
stop listening and watching :O).
So can I
challenge us (I’m included in this one) with something. What kind of person do
we want to be? If we were to look back at the end of our lives, who would we be
remembered as?
We can be
that person and it starts by changing what we allow ourselves to be surrounded
by. It’s not simple or easy, but comes from discipline, which requires more
strength than remaining in the current situation and saying “it’s okay this won’t
affect me.”
(By the way,
it doesn’t mean that we never listen/watch stuff that we deem “trash”, it just
means we are more weary/cautious of how much we consume.)
“It’s not what goes into your mouth
that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” -
Matthew 15:11
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