That Awkward Stage...Friend Zone.

Friend zone

(How girls REALLY see it)

Friend zone. We’ve all had some personal experience in this great area of life. Whether it was at school, by a close friend or in kindy, when your crush said he wouldn’t kiss you because you were too ugly…Oh you didn’t have that problem…?  Okay, just me then.

Needless to say, each of us at some point in time has had the honour and heartache of making it into this grey area of a relationship/friendship.

But why is it such a wishy-washy, rarely spoken about topic?

Now as a girl, friend zoning is simple. There are two categories:

 

• Definite ‘Friend zone’: A guy who is totally a friend, there is no attraction whatsoever, and never will be. This is a guy who, if he made a move would get a right old slap across the face, or be deeply scarred by the repulsed look the woman may give him. Guys in this friend zone are safe, because us girls know we don’t have feelings for the guy and so therefore it means he won’t have feelings for us (naïve, I know, but it’s just what we do.)

And then there’s the,

• Other/Potential ‘Friend zone’: This is a tricky one. A girl may say ‘you’re just friends,’ but this doesn’t always mean it’s definite. She may just be experiencing attraction towards you and in order to cope with this, puts you into zone which looks, feels, sounds just like the friend zone. It is SIMILAR to the ‘friend zone, but isn’t the DEFINITE friend zone. This is almost like a POTENTIAL, or box for the guys us girls have a ‘SOFT SPOT’ for. This is why when we play Truth or dare (because we’re all mature young adults) and are asked ‘who we like’ everyone hounds, “saying surely, there’s someone.” Yes there is someone but they are in this ‘potential/soft spot friend zone.’  Every woman has someone in this category.

I imagine by now you’re reading this, shouting at the magazine…”Say what?!? There are two types of friend zone?” Yes, yes there are. I have yet to discover others, so for this period of time I am concluding that these are the dominant two.

After discovering this you can imagine my shock when one of my guy friends said last night, that:

“As soon as a guy thinks he has been friend zoned, he will never go for that girl again.”

This statement obviously took my girl friends and I by surprise, with the initial response being “Crap, but I’ve got plenty of guys who I’ve put into the ‘other friend zone,’ and now you’re telling me they may misinterpret it as DEFINITE FRIEND ZONE, and there will never be a chance…ever!”

So I’m here to clear the air.

Men all over the world (well, probably not the world…I don’t if this magazine has been that widely distributed yet...but who knows what the future holds) regardless, listen to these little things about women I have discovered.

1. Women are complex (you’ve probably already figured this one out on your own, but let it be confirmed.) You will never know everything about us. Besides, we don’t even know everything about us.
2. Now this is a toughie, and not to be applied to every situation, but after to talking to a few girls, they have agreed on this too. If a girl asks for advice about guys, not always, but sometimes this can be a signal that, men, you are NOT FULLY in the friend zone. It does however mean that she trusts you. DON’T JUST ASSUME HER TRUSTING YOU MEANS YOU HAVE BEEN FRIEND ZONED.
3. The best tool you have as a guy is your own instinctual discernment. Men, regardless of what society and media tell you, you are smart and logical! You have a good sense of what’s up, trust your head…but also trust your heart! When you mix the two together you’re unstoppable…well…maybe not unstoppable…oh you get what I mean.
4. Sexually attracted to her=check, and you like her personality, then why not go for it! What’s the worst that will happen?!? The girl will say no, and if she can respect you enough to be honest with you, then that in itself is a testament to why you were attracted to her. Cliché: If it’s right it WILL work out.
5. And finally the best advice I have probably EVER (yes big claim to make) been given! Don’t be someone else’s “No.” eg: “I won’t ask her, cause I know she’ll say no.” What makes you think that?  You haven’t even asked the girl yet, how do you know she’ll say no? You don’t! So stop beating yourself up, you’re better than that, and instead of pondering whether she likes you or not, just hang out with her or ask her on a date and see where it leads. You’re awesome! Believe that!
6. The more I get down this list the more I realise how outlandishly hard it is to compact the woman feelings and thoughts into an easy, step by step guide.

 

Before I go, one final thing:

Men, friend zone to a woman is not the same as friend zone to you. You are not out of the game yet, unless you have asked her and she has openly expressed her feelings, or you’ve tried a move and turned you down. If anything, just get to know the girl. Be her friend, (but don’t friend zone her, just because you assume she has ‘friend zoned’ you,) who knows what could happen from there! Peace and blessings, y’all! Peace and blessings.