Relationships Part 2

As I pointed out in my previous post about what the 3 things are which can really help make a good relationship Raya, Ahava and Dode. i decided this time to take a lok at how we can maintain a healthy relationship.

Well the answer is simple, its the putting it into action which is diffucult.

BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries-are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits. ( Wikipedia definition)

Boundaries are important parts of any relationship you form with anyone, (ie: your boss, their are boundaries in place of how you should act around him, and if you cross those boundaries their are consequences.) We all make boundaries and its tends to be a subconcious thing we do.

Its interesting isn't it, how easily in a dating relationship we become more 'loose' with our boundaries and can easily be pushed beyond even how far we would go with friends, whether its being mentally,emotionally, sexually or spiritually. Interesting.

For many of you, you may be reading this and thinking well I don't need boundaries I have good relationships. So I have written up some questions below for you to ponder.

So you've dated before, thats cool.

How many people have you dated before?
How has that ended?
What has this person (who your dating) done to earn your trust?
What will be your regrets if you breakup?

I probably should clarify that I'm not trying to make you annoyed or frustrated but I just want to get you thinking about these things because they are some wise things you should be thinking about in a relationship.

So what do boundaries define and protect?

• your love: your deepest capactity and connect
• your emotions: your need to own your feelings and not becontrolled by others feelings
• your values ( very important one!): your need to have your life reflect what you care about most deeply
• your behaviours: your control over how you act in your relationship
• your attitudes: your stances and opinions about yourself and your date

Just a reminder about what I mentioned in my earlier post, the only way for a dating relationship ends is:

Marriage
Or
Breakup


Something I have noticed expecially in teenage relationships is this NAIVENESS in dating, where they think its just gonna end happily ever after. So if your someone who isn't really looking at a serious or potential husband/wife relationship and you don't have any boundaries then be prepared for some pretty horrible heart break if it ends badly.
 Why give someone so much of your love when you know how its gonna end. Harsh I know but a reality you need to think about.

Relationships are kinda like a football game.

Pre-game your team is excited, uncertain of what the future holds, ready to give it all. Super psyched up!Sometimes the opposition are alot better than what you expected, by half time the coach is hounding you about what you needed to have improved on. And you try and improve this in the second half. Sometimes it works and you win and sometimes it doesn't.

We come into relationships excited because we think about this fairytale ending, and unfortuantaely sometimes this doesn't get to happen.

I hope that this has given you something to just have a little ponder about, and I hope I haven't offended to many people with my brutal honesty.

Take care :)