Shawty, you a ten
1) Tall
2) Dark
3) Handsome
After
talking to some close friends of mine, my girl Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber (we
go way back. Well…not really... On
that note though, did you hear they are back together again, pretty crazy huh!?)
Okay, maybe I didn’t ask Selena and Justin for their perspective on lists, but
I did ask a few pretty good looking and awesome people, what though surrounding
this age old topic.
It was
actually quite interesting, because when we finally did, (yes, I babble a lot
so that meant it took ages to actually get to the topic) and talk about lists*,
there seemed to be two dominant perspectives.
1) Yes. Lists are good. It gives you a
good idea of what you look for in a future relationshipee and allows you to
filter down the things that you like, and what traits in a person you think
would complement yours.
AND THEN
IRONCIALLY:
2) No. Lists are bad. It makes you more close
minded/picky/ too selective. Besides, the reality is that, not EVERYTHING that
is on your list will be fulfilled in one person. If it did then, “Why hello
there Messiah, how are you doing?”
So in a
nutshell there’s two ways you really can look at it. Yes, or no.
(there’s
always a butt……to every joke. Okay, yes that was a poor one, it’s getting late
and my humour filled side of the brain is fried…deep in batter….okay sorry, I’m
gonna just shut up now before this turns really ugly.)
What was
interesting though, was when I asked people who didn’t have a physical,
written-down list, if they had a vague idea of what they looked for in someone,
they simply replied ‘Yes.’
Is a list only
considered a list if it’s written down?
Yeah, I
reckon so, I mean writing it down just makes it more official. It’s like a contract
(well sort of, in a weird way) in that a verbal contract isn’t valid. You can’t
take someone to court JUST based on their good word of mouth, you need a
binding agreement. (Not quite sure were this analogy is going in conjunction
with lists,) but nonetheless, I guess having a list just gives us a clearer
format of explaining all the crazy things our brain keeps trying to tell us.
You’re probably
getting to this point and wondering, ‘Hey Aspen, number 1, shut up.’ Yes that
is valid, I do have a tendency to waffle on, and ‘number 2, if you think you’re
so cool, what do YOU think about lists.’
Well, lists
ARE interesting and YES, I do have a list. But wait before you give up all
hope, hear me out.
I created a ‘list’
not as a checklist or a set of criteria which a guy will have to meet before he
even goes out on a date with me (believe it or not some people are like that
and try to see how a ‘potential’ person matches up with their list, before even
making a move.) I did it rather, so that in the future, when/if/maybe I get
married, I can look back and see what aspects I looked for in my ‘ideal’ guy,
and how reality (if it did) matched up with what I wrote in my younger more desperate,
single years.
·
Needs
to know how to cook
·
For
others, its needs to have good manners
·
And
for others, it can be as simple as needs to know how to ski (or at least willing
to learn how to ski...or at least understand that every so often, even if they
hate skiing, realising that we just need to escape and go up to the mountain….why
don’t they just get it….) Um okay, moving on from that emotional mumbo jumbo.
You have permission to be picky about
certain things.
Think about the things that make you, you. What thing, if it was taken away
from you, would make you feel like a small part of your heart had been ripped
out? Now this is going to sound a bit mean, but those things aren’t worth jeopardising
because of someone. If anything the person you are with, should recognise what
you enjoy doing, and even if they don’t feel as passionate as you, still
support and encourage you in it.
*(in reference to a written down on paper list, or one
tucked away hidden in a journal, or a list that’s locked away in a time
capsule, only to be opened in 30 years’ time)
