That Awkward Stage...Friend Zone.

Friend zone

(How girls REALLY see it)

Friend zone. We’ve all had some personal experience in this great area of life. Whether it was at school, by a close friend or in kindy, when your crush said he wouldn’t kiss you because you were too ugly…Oh you didn’t have that problem…?  Okay, just me then.

Needless to say, each of us at some point in time has had the honour and heartache of making it into this grey area of a relationship/friendship.

But why is it such a wishy-washy, rarely spoken about topic?

Now as a girl, friend zoning is simple. There are two categories:

 

• Definite ‘Friend zone’: A guy who is totally a friend, there is no attraction whatsoever, and never will be. This is a guy who, if he made a move would get a right old slap across the face, or be deeply scarred by the repulsed look the woman may give him. Guys in this friend zone are safe, because us girls know we don’t have feelings for the guy and so therefore it means he won’t have feelings for us (naïve, I know, but it’s just what we do.)

And then there’s the,

• Other/Potential ‘Friend zone’: This is a tricky one. A girl may say ‘you’re just friends,’ but this doesn’t always mean it’s definite. She may just be experiencing attraction towards you and in order to cope with this, puts you into zone which looks, feels, sounds just like the friend zone. It is SIMILAR to the ‘friend zone, but isn’t the DEFINITE friend zone. This is almost like a POTENTIAL, or box for the guys us girls have a ‘SOFT SPOT’ for. This is why when we play Truth or dare (because we’re all mature young adults) and are asked ‘who we like’ everyone hounds, “saying surely, there’s someone.” Yes there is someone but they are in this ‘potential/soft spot friend zone.’  Every woman has someone in this category.

I imagine by now you’re reading this, shouting at the magazine…”Say what?!? There are two types of friend zone?” Yes, yes there are. I have yet to discover others, so for this period of time I am concluding that these are the dominant two.

After discovering this you can imagine my shock when one of my guy friends said last night, that:

“As soon as a guy thinks he has been friend zoned, he will never go for that girl again.”

This statement obviously took my girl friends and I by surprise, with the initial response being “Crap, but I’ve got plenty of guys who I’ve put into the ‘other friend zone,’ and now you’re telling me they may misinterpret it as DEFINITE FRIEND ZONE, and there will never be a chance…ever!”

So I’m here to clear the air.

Men all over the world (well, probably not the world…I don’t if this magazine has been that widely distributed yet...but who knows what the future holds) regardless, listen to these little things about women I have discovered.

1. Women are complex (you’ve probably already figured this one out on your own, but let it be confirmed.) You will never know everything about us. Besides, we don’t even know everything about us.
2. Now this is a toughie, and not to be applied to every situation, but after to talking to a few girls, they have agreed on this too. If a girl asks for advice about guys, not always, but sometimes this can be a signal that, men, you are NOT FULLY in the friend zone. It does however mean that she trusts you. DON’T JUST ASSUME HER TRUSTING YOU MEANS YOU HAVE BEEN FRIEND ZONED.
3. The best tool you have as a guy is your own instinctual discernment. Men, regardless of what society and media tell you, you are smart and logical! You have a good sense of what’s up, trust your head…but also trust your heart! When you mix the two together you’re unstoppable…well…maybe not unstoppable…oh you get what I mean.
4. Sexually attracted to her=check, and you like her personality, then why not go for it! What’s the worst that will happen?!? The girl will say no, and if she can respect you enough to be honest with you, then that in itself is a testament to why you were attracted to her. Cliché: If it’s right it WILL work out.
5. And finally the best advice I have probably EVER (yes big claim to make) been given! Don’t be someone else’s “No.” eg: “I won’t ask her, cause I know she’ll say no.” What makes you think that?  You haven’t even asked the girl yet, how do you know she’ll say no? You don’t! So stop beating yourself up, you’re better than that, and instead of pondering whether she likes you or not, just hang out with her or ask her on a date and see where it leads. You’re awesome! Believe that!
6. The more I get down this list the more I realise how outlandishly hard it is to compact the woman feelings and thoughts into an easy, step by step guide.

 

Before I go, one final thing:

Men, friend zone to a woman is not the same as friend zone to you. You are not out of the game yet, unless you have asked her and she has openly expressed her feelings, or you’ve tried a move and turned you down. If anything, just get to know the girl. Be her friend, (but don’t friend zone her, just because you assume she has ‘friend zoned’ you,) who knows what could happen from there! Peace and blessings, y’all! Peace and blessings.

Oh Honey boo boo

Child-like faith. Mark 10:13-16 talks about this idea of having a 'child-like faith' when it comes to our relationship to God, but to be quite frank what is this kind of faith??

Often I thought it referred to maintain a 'child-like' mentality in which conversations with God consisted of 'baby talk' eg: turn to him for provision, wants, needs, desires etc. This is true and should totally be done as well, but when I began to think about it, it doesn't leave a lot of room for growth.

 

As we grow up our child-like faith also grows.

Okay, I'll try and make this a bit more clear cause it probably doesn't make a lot of sense at the moment.

Thought: What if what Jesus was talking about in regards to faith, wasn't about having an immature, needy faith, but child-like in sense that when we see God and see his will done we are bewildered and in genuine awe.

              Eg: a child has such an innocence in which everything in the world around them is new and  

                     exciting. They don't take for granted the small things like 'Choo choo trains' or 'trees.'

                     Even the most simplest of things are incredible.

SO if we look at it like that, maybe what 'child-like' faith is, is seeing the small everyday things God has done and being amazed and appreciative of it. What if we got excited about the small things rather than focus on the massive 'experience' or miracle we expect God to bring along?

In a nutshell, child-like faith is being appreciative for the small things which may seem mundane, and well ordinary. However it is in those things where more of God's massive character is revealed.

Try not to measure God simply on how big the 'experience' is, for even those 'experiences' limit who God truly is, and is only reveals an ever so small portion of who he is.

So there was this guy...

This is kind of a different blog post, instead of being a humorous and light hearted topic.

 

(If you've decided to continue reading, good on you you obviously enjoy reading blogs or feel sorry for me.)

 

I'll just start, I guess.

Dear person reading this who I may not know or may never meet, (but hi to you anyway,)

I am writing this letter to  you. Right now, I don't know where you are in life, what struggles you face or what merry things have flooded into your world. Maybe you have had a new cousin, daugther, baby, or maybe you just found out you've won the lotto (if you have feel free to donate a worthy charity aka. myuniversityfees.com*).

I say these next things out of love. As I said earlier, I don't know where you are in life, but regardless I want you to know that just the thought of knowing you have to endure hard times, breaks my heart. I wish I could take all the pain and hurt away. Yet despite that, I want to acknowledge to you and say that I am so proud of you for getting through the tough times. You are a real trooper.

May I boldly say, and know, that you have an absolute purpose and reason for being where you are. It may be hard, hell it may be so hard you doubt whether you can actually get through it. But I want to remind you, that you are unique, their is NO ONE else on this earth like you. We tend to compare ourselves to people and say things like "that persons better than me at....or that person looks just like me, but I'm not as..." but the reality is that, that comparison can be such a toxic wasteland. It tries to make you think you aren't good enough, you could never be good enough. But you are good enough.

Lets step back for a sec...okay. Now, what sort of things do you enjoy doing? What things would you say you were good at, regardless of what others have said or told you, why do you do those things?
The reality is you are so uniquely designed for a purpose. Martin Luther King wasn't a Mother Theresa, he probably wouldn't have been half as good as Mother Theresa because he was good at public speaking, Mother Theresa on the other hand had a servants heart. Although they were both inspirational people they were needed we they were placed. Their personalities fitted the roles, and they flourished. So I guess were I trying to get at, is that you too, have a purpose, you are needed. I don't know to what scale (community, world, country, city or maybe even one person) but regardless you are needed and valued. It is only when we look for success in others success's that we feel disappointed and unworthy.

Now I don't want you to read these words and feel I am speaking to someone else, these words are meant for you. This is not some 'airy-fairy inspirational letter' I copy and pasted from somewhere on the web (even though that would have a been a whole lot easier). Every word I have said isn't coming from some superficial 'feel good' place either. I haven't written this for your approval or for acknowledgement. This has purely been written to give you a bit of hope and remind you how valued you are. Why do we wait until we pass away before nice things can be said about us? And so that is what this is. Its an acknowledgement and a thank you for being you.

Finally the last thing I wanna say:

If you feel like you're at the end of it, metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and you feel like you can't fight for yourself. Try fighting for someone else.

Much love,
A friend.

(*not actual website, from what I know...yeah.)

True Beauty?

Sexy. Hot. Pretty. Gorgeous. Stunning. Cute. 

Words we all hope to be described as in one way or another. However recently I was really challenged with the idea of why is it we hardly call people beautiful?  Why is being beautiful any different.

It got me pondering and I realised that those words 'sexy, hot, pretty etc' are solely based on the outward appearance and as I began to mull over it, the more I began to realise what shallow words they really were.

BUT what I have found interesting is this word beautiful. I don't know about you but if I were to class someone as 'beautiful' I often take into consideration not just their outward appearance, but also their heart (are they nice people, do they care about others, do they  care about themselves etc). Which really got me thinking what is beauty? Why is it so hard to find genuinely beautiful people?

The way I thought of it was like this:

•  The titles 'pretty, sexy, cute etc' require you to meet an expectation. You have to possess qualities associated with that attribute. Cute= petite, child like persona, sexy= vivacious, alluring etc.
• However beauty, true beauty can be attained. It doesn't require anything of you that you don't already have. Each person has beauty it is instilled in you. Its always there, but it can been hidden and concealed. True beauty is when one is confident in themselves, recognises their uniqueness and embraces it.

Take at look at yourself (cheesy self reflection thing, I know):

• Your gift of the gab
•  your compassionate side
•  your love for gaming
• helping others
• reading books
• driving cars, whatever things you love to do that make you, you, are awesome!!!

The common cliche 'if everyone in the world were just themselves the world would be a beautiful place,' although it is majorly cheesy,  imagine how cool it would be if everyone embraced themselves instead of resenting themselves. SO everyone who had a desire or dream, were actually living out those dreams.

So why is that put so much pressure on being 'labelled' as sexy, hot, whatever and not as much time on just be the best possible 'you' you could be. You are the most beautiful you when you are your true self.

Just a bit of food for thought.

Hey Hot Stuff

Summer break! The two most glorious words that have hit this decade since...well.... no, there is no other two words more glorious. You could try bet it? and although jet-setting, winning-lotto and chocolate-strawberries were in a close 2nd, 3rd and 4th, they didn't quite win in the ultimate two word contest (good luck for next year guys.)

Besides being the best two word out, summer break is an all round pretty good time. Its the time of year when YOLO becomes more than just a word said in every second sentence.  We tend to be more  outdoors, (unless you've just brought the new Assassins Creed 3 then your absence of the sun is well justified) laying on the beach burning (or few some lucky few tanning, just pop some Aloe Vera on the burn after and you'll get that beaut tan *I take no responsibility if you peel two days later though*), jumping of some crazy as cliffs, and singing Koombiya around  campfires. Its pretty legit.

So in light of summer I figured why not pick out the ultimate top 10 places where I would love to be this summer if I could go anywhere in the world (yes, anywhere :O):

10) Vevey, Switzerland
9) Cairo, Egypt
8) Phuket Island, Thailand
7) Ibiza, Spain
6) Barcelona, Spain
5) Perth, Australia
4) Sienna, Italy
3) Abel Tasman, New Zealand
2) Cancun, Mexico
1) Bahamas, Caribbean


(I really wanted to put Mantel, Earth as my top 1, but its probably a bit too hot for my liking and there wasn't a cute resort close by.)

The unfortunate reality is I probably won't go to any of these places, but it doesn't mean summer has to be boring. Just take one look at the clip below for some fantastic ideas!!! :O hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o4EDXtLnw4

Dear Diary

Well, well, well...Since my last post yonks has happened. There's been a few hurricanes ripping up New York, Kim Kardashian's started dating Kayne West and a guy with the bossest name ever! jumped into Earth from outer space (or close enough). This world just doesn't seem to slow down! In amongst that all I've completed my first year as a uni student and am stoked that its finally summer!!!

 

Rather than write some deep and meaning post, I figured, why not step back and have a lil laugh at the observations I have made this year, in what I like to call "Dear... Much love."

Dear fashion bloggers, fashionistas or anyone in the general public,

I apologise for committing such a horrible crime, on several occasions this year.
Several times I accidentally left my normal shoes at home and had to wear my running shoes with jeans.
And to top it off I forgot all my makeup.
So general public if you ever saw me walking around I was not homeless. But I thank you kindly for the free food.

 

Much love,
An appreciative member of society.

 

 

Dear real humour,

I wish you and I had a better relationship. You only wanna hang out whenever overtired is around. Am I not good enough for you?

Much love,
Your other half,
Dry humour.

 

 

Dear trick or treaters,
 

Please come by our house. Josh and I have homemade lollies aka. tiny stones wrapped in favourites wrappers. All the best trick or treating.

 

Much love,

Anonymous.

 

 

Dear New york journalists,

You tell people to evacuate a massive Hurricane Sandy is coming. So what do you do? Run right out into the hurricane to conduct the news.

I now understand why journalism has such high death rates. Silly Billys.

 

Much love,

A concerned citizen.

 

 

Dear university confession pages,

 

Thank you so much. You have taught me a lot of things this year, like:

 

1. People love to confess things.

2. The truth always seems to come out. 

3. And I would love to be the person who does the anonymous admin. Imagine knowing exactly who 'anonymous' is. 

 

Much love,

Gossip wannabe xo

(Sorry couldn't add another 'xo' due to copyright laws...in a perfect world their would be two o's and x's)

 

Pasion, Passione, Leidenschaft, Passion.

Right now I am sitting in my bedroom listening as my brother bleats out the pounding lyrics of some random song, and even thought the old pitch can be a bit off at times I can't help but admire his passion and dedication.

Its a random thought but lately I cease to be amazed by this idea of passion, at the end of the day without it, little would get done in our world. I mean take a look at Martin Luther King, that's pretty gutsy to get up infront of all those people and speak aloud your thoughts. Martin Luther King had passion. Passion is what drove him, none could deny he was passionate about his cause especially after watching his 'I have a dream' speech. Passion is what allows ordinary people to do extraordinary things, take one look at people like Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, their passions benefitted many, which leads onto the main thought I have been having lately.

I have been really challenged about this idea of world changers, people who use there talents and gifts to help influence the 'world' in which they live in. This idea of 'world' can be anything from family, friends, and can extend wider, on a global scale. But what makes a world changer: its their passion and drive for something. I reckon each person on this planet is a 'world changer' in their own right, even the people who society rejects: homeless people, prostitutes, drug users and many more. Whats cool is the fact that everyone is able to influence someone, yousee if someone has walked the path before they will be more relatable to someone currently walking it. For example I've never tried drugs so my understanding and relatablty to someone who does or is will not be as helpful as someone who has been through that personally.

I guess at the end of the day the thought I had was, every person on this planet has a way they can help change and inspire the 'world' the people the places they go. Its like that common cliches 'You will never know how many people you will influence in your lifetime,' which is so true because unless someone tells us straight the face we are unaware of what we mean to someone.

Work without passion is tiresome and boring, however if passion is added to the mix it becomes a challenge (not a threatening challenge, but a strenghening/defining challenge),  rather than feel like an obligated chore.
Also I guess the main questions I've been going over is things like:
 What am I passionate about?
 How can use that passion to help others?
 What do I want to see come out of that/ What do I see being the final result of putting those plans into actions?

 PS: DREAM BIG! Because the only thing stopping you from your dreams is yourself.

Check out these quotes if your in need of a lil inspiration http://www.inspirational-quotes.info/